Good afternoon and welcome to the Tuesday night news.
I'm Luke Todd; bringing you the latest news of the days dogging and bondage antics...
Every few years some amazing little fuckwit will invent something that will warrant a 'love explosion' on the face of our glorious queen. Today's marvel that we shall look at in awe with our trousers down our ankles is...caffeine!! Women’s' chins were invented to give something for men to rest their balls on, caffeine on the other hand was invented for...well I’m actually struggling to find a logical reason but fuck it it's goooooooooooooood.
I can firmly say my caffeine addiction it causing somewhat of a concern. If caffeine was a person I would sinisterly stalk it through the dark alleys of the night and be served with a restraining order for fucking its leg majestically.
Perhaps I should book myself into the rehab of el'caffeino, but we all know that fanny is the best rehab centre in the world...even the most violent and hardest pricks comes out soft, humble, reduced in size and a dribbling mess!!
Today I received an email from the homeslices at FRONT magazine who request my presence a week early which to be honest is sounding tempting seeing as I would shove wasps up my own arse than go to sixth form!
1 2 3 4 I declare a thumb war 5 6 7 8 I use this hand to masturbate!
I'm Luke Todd; bringing you the latest news of the days dogging and bondage antics...
Every few years some amazing little fuckwit will invent something that will warrant a 'love explosion' on the face of our glorious queen. Today's marvel that we shall look at in awe with our trousers down our ankles is...caffeine!! Women’s' chins were invented to give something for men to rest their balls on, caffeine on the other hand was invented for...well I’m actually struggling to find a logical reason but fuck it it's goooooooooooooood.
I can firmly say my caffeine addiction it causing somewhat of a concern. If caffeine was a person I would sinisterly stalk it through the dark alleys of the night and be served with a restraining order for fucking its leg majestically.
Perhaps I should book myself into the rehab of el'caffeino, but we all know that fanny is the best rehab centre in the world...even the most violent and hardest pricks comes out soft, humble, reduced in size and a dribbling mess!!
Today I received an email from the homeslices at FRONT magazine who request my presence a week early which to be honest is sounding tempting seeing as I would shove wasps up my own arse than go to sixth form!
1 2 3 4 I declare a thumb war 5 6 7 8 I use this hand to masturbate!
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