Emulating the likes of Take That, Peter Andre and Jesus; I have begun my long awaited comeback (yes, in the spirit of sheer arrogance I have created my own imaginary fan club complete with stalkers and fat women who throw their [KFC] skid-marked underwear at me).
You must be thinking, 'why?' What is the reason behind this? Firstly let me put it straight that I do not have alteria motives to seduce you into all becoming my sexual minions.
I have however been offered the opportunity to intern at one of the country's most prestigious (well, as prestigious as boobs can get) magazines...FRONT!
Therefore I have decided to blow the cobwebs away from my proverbial pen much like an old man blows the cobwebs away from his proverbial penis by bashing one out over QVC on a Sunday morning.
Eww first profanity of the new launch and if I do say so myself...it was disgusting-wankatory success!
As you all know I have been 'out of action' since November (I'm referring to blogging and not any sexual discrepancies) and as a result it may take me a few posts to get back into the incessant use of taboos that served me oh so well in the past.
I will leave you for today to simmer in the excitement of my return but ask you to ponder the topic of drug abuse.
I personally don't understand it. It's not like I walk into the chemist and start screaming FUCK OFF at the paracetamol! Perhaps your whimsical self can shed some light?
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